


An Honest Job

by Eternally_Exhausted



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26499964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternally_Exhausted/pseuds/Eternally_Exhausted
Summary: The brothers take Business up on his offer, and find out just what they're actually in for.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	An Honest Job

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Crime... Does Pay?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23136865) by [Shamaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamaru/pseuds/Shamaru). 



The brothers were quiet as they were escorted back out of the house by Benny. “So uh… That was the strangest ‘job interview’ I’ve ever had,” Gair said, trying to break the awkward silence. Benny smirked. “How did you even know we were here?”

“Boss has good hearing, and you two weren’t exactly being _quiet_.” Bradley grumbled at that. “He’ll be expecting you first thing in the morning. With your brother.”

Gair swallowed hard and nodded. “Of course.”

The two brothers stood at the door for a few minutes after Benny left them. “Brad. I have two regrets.”

Bradley sighed. “Well it’s too late now. Let’s go see what Keelan thinks of all this.”

Gair flinched at the thought. “…Correction. I have _three_ regrets.”

~* *~

Benny made his way to the relic hall where he knew his boss would be waiting. Business was standing at the display case for the helmet one of the young men had tried to steal, the artifact back in place and the glass cover over it once again. “Has it suffered any damage?”

“Nah, not so much as a dent. Thing can take a beating.”

Business hummed thoughtfully. “What about our guests. You think they’ll actually be back?”

Benny smirked. “They seem pretty convinced we’re a pair of weirdos-”

Business chuckled. “We _are_ a pair of weirdos.”

“But yeah, I think they will. They seem desperate enough. Now off to bed with you, I don’t need Emmet fussing at me for letting you overexert yourself.”

Business rolled his eyes. “I’m _blind_ , not sick.”

“Same difference, til we get this curse dealt with. And put that golf club _away_ , you dork!” Business chuckled. “Honestly. Emmet went through all the trouble of getting you a perfectly good _normal_ cane and you use a _golf club._ ”

“Better for braining dangerous intruders with.”

“…Alright, I’ll give you that. Still. You could show the poor kid at least a _little_ bit of gratitude.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll be good and use my boring normal cane tomorrow.” Business lifted the golf club, twirling it between his fingers as he strode out of the hall, whistling along the way. Benny shook his head and returned to his rounds.

~* *~

“You guys did _what_.”

Gair flinched. As expected, Keelan didn’t take the news well. He stood there in the living room, arms folded across his chest and giving them his best stern glare. Even for being almost half a foot shorter than them, he pulled off the intimidation factor pretty well. “I know, it was stupid and careless and Mum and Dad would be so _disappointed_ in us,” he murmured, gaze falling to the floor. “But uh. At least some good came out of it?”

“Old man’s crazy, I tell you, but I’m not about to turn down _honest_ work.”

“Wait. He offered you _jobs?_ ”

“Like I said, he’s crazy.”

“There’s a job for you too, if you want it.”

“What kind of a job?”

“His security guard offered to train us as bodyguards,” Brad explained. Keelan bit his lip, hugging himself.

“I- I dunno, I’m not… Not sure I could handle being _stared_ at again.”

“He’s blind,” Gair said, earning a surprised look from his twin.

“He is?”

“Pretty sure, anyway. He looked in my direction but not really _at_ me.” He shrugged. “And I don’t think that Benny fellow will be much of an issue either.”

“Guy did seem to have a couple screws loose…”

“So that just leaves his boyfriend to contend with. We didn’t see him last night so I have no idea what he’s like.”

“…Alright,” Keelan agreed. “I’ll, uh, meet them at least.”

They returned to the estate first thing in the morning, Keelan in tow. Gair smiled and took his hand as he fidgeted nervously, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’ll be alright.” Benny greeted them at the door and ushered them into the dining room, where Business was just finishing his breakfast.

“Good morning,” he greeted. “I’m glad to see you haven’t changed your minds.”

“Not like we really have any other options,” Brad grumbled.

“And it really was very kind of you not to report us to the police-”

“’Kind’, hm?” Business rubbed at his jaw. “First anyone’s ever said _that_ about me.”

“Emmet will be _so proud_ to hear that,” Benny teased, grinning.

“Anyway!” Business stood abruptly, grabbing his cane (a proper one this time, Gair noted). “I think a tour of the place is in order, don’t you?”

“Uh. Yes, sir,” Gair agreed. Business strode out of the dining room with purpose, Benny and the three brothers tagging along behind.

Despite the size of the house, the tour was completed surprisingly quickly. Bradley was certain several rooms had been skipped, but decided not to comment on it. Perhaps he could snoop later. The tour ended in the relic room. “So what do you think?”

“I think I’m wondering _why_ you need bodyguards when Space Case over there seems capable enough,” Bradley grunted.

“Because Benny is my _security_ guard. His job is to protect my property. I need someone to protect _me_.”

“But you never leave the house?” Gair asked.

“Just because I haven’t for a while doesn’t mean I have no intentions of ever leaving it again.” He set his cane on the floor for the first time since they’d left the dining room, resting his hands over the top. “I have an expedition I’ve been planning for some months now. I need someone capable to come with me.”

“What sort of expedition?” Keelan finally piped up. Business smiled.

“Glad you asked. Tell me, how do you think I managed to procure such an impressive collection?”

“I figured you’d just bought it all at auctions and stuff,” Bradley admitted.

“Were I anyone else, you’d be correct. But no, I researched and tracked down and retrieved every one of them myself. Unfortunately, during my last expedition, I seem to have… disturbed a curse.”

“What sort of curse?”

“Bradley, was it? You seem sharp, I’m sure you did your research on me before you picked me as your target.” Bradley shuffled in embarrassment. “I’m sure something here doesn’t add up.”

Bradley stared at him as he thought. “…You look a lot older than the age I found you listed as being. Nothing in your records said anything about you being blind, either.”

“Only forty-five years old and he looks about sixty,” Benny snickered.

“Hush, you. But yes. The blindness I tried to keep quiet, but it was the reason for my early retirement, and the reason for my next expedition. See, the last relic I collected actually comes in a pair. They were stored separately, and disturbing either would place an aging curse on the intruder. I’m hoping rejoining the two will break it.”

“And you think disturbing this _other_ piece won’t increase your curse two-fold.”

“Oh, no. See, that’s where Emmet comes in. The two Pieces won’t cause trouble if handled by one who is ‘pure of heart’.”

“You mentioned that name last night. Is Emmet your boyfriend?” Gair asked.

“My _boyfriend?_ ” Business’ eyebrows shot up at the question. Benny started cackling. “Man Upstairs, _no_. He’s my _son_.”


End file.
